hi

so i feel like my life is totally out of control.

i work about 7or8 hours a day basically every day.

when im not working my parents are getting mad at me because i havent planned anything for my 4month trip to italy that i leave for in 13days. basically all i have is a plane ticket. havent started packing, my computers broken, havent picked out luggage, havent bought about a million trillion little necessities ill need.

on top of that my cars still a little messed up from portland and i havent taken it to the shop yet, i was supposed to get tested for ADD at the beginning of the summer, and still havent done that, not to mention the operation i have to have to make sure that im not infertile (oh yeah did i not tell anyone that my doctors think i might be? great...).



its not that all i do is hang out with steve and blow of all my responsibilities, its that hey! a telephone works both ways, and hey! not everything is about you, and hey! im only human, and oh i dont know. i like him so much and im so scared of leaving and not because of him, because hes the one thing i feel like wont change.


ugh i have to get ready for work, i have to leave in twenty minutes and i just woke up and am still in my underwear.



im tired of loving everyone and having it still not be good enough.