Don't hesitate to hit the shower together as a prelude to oral sex.
After all, cleanliness is next to godliness, and godliness means lots of oral sex.

kissing is like the best thing. next to hugs and humping.



basically the best part of my night. if you missed ellen and i making out at the party, well then you missed out. basically.

I heard he wrote you a song, but so what?
Some guy wrote sixty-nine, and one just ain't enough.



it was 28 degrees out last night while i was driving home. the phenomenon of being too cold to snow. only in the north.



also:

if little else, the brain is an educational toy. While it may be a frustrating plaything--one whose finer points recede just when you think you are mastering them--it is nonetheless perpetually fascinating, frequently surprising, occasionally rewarding, and it comes already assembled; you dont have to put it together on Christmas morning.

The problem with possessing such an engaging toy is that other people want to play with it, too. Sometimes they'd rather play with yours than theirs. Or they object if you play with yours in a different manner from the way they play with theirs. The result is, a few games out of a toy department of possibilites are universally and endlessly repeated. If you dont play some people's game, they say that you have "lost your marbles," not recognizing that, while Chinese checkers is indeed a fine pastime, a person may also play dominoes, chess, strip poker, tiddlywinks, drop-the-soap or Russian roulette with her brain.

i think the most romantic thing ever would be to go to a drive in movie.

i think the most fun thing ever would be to ride on the bumper cars.

today i realized that i was almost 20. and i felt almost 20. i dont like feeling like i am that old.

today i watched my girl. i cried. its a good movie. two days ago i watched the sound of music solely because i felt like watching the sound of music.

hmmm i just dont know.

i wasnt willing to fight on the floor

guess what?

this sentence is made of lead (and a sentence of lead gives a reader an entirely different sensation from one made of magnesium).
this sentence is made of yak wool.
this sentence is made of sunlight and plums.
this sentence is made of ice.
this sentence is made from the blood of a poet.
this sentence was made in japan.
this sentence glows in the dark.
this sentence was born with a caul.
this sentence has a crush on Norman Mailer.
this sentence is a wino and doesnt care who knows it.
like many italic sentences, this one has Mafia connections.
this sentence is a double Cancer with Pisces rising.
this sentence lost its mind searching for the perfect paragraph.
this sentence refuses to be diagramed.
this sentence ran off with an adverb clause.
this sentence is 100 percent organic: it will not retain a facsimile of freshness like those sentences of Homer, Shakespeare, Goethe et al., which are loaded with preservatives.
this sentence leaks.
this sentence doesnt look Jewish...
this sentence has accepted Jesus Christ as its personal savior.
this sentence once spit in a book reviewers eye.
this sentence can do the funky chicken.
this sentence has seen too much and forgotten too little.
this sentence is called "Speedoo" but its real name is Mr. Earl.
this sentence may be pregnant, it missed its period.
this sentence suffered a split infinitive--and survived.
if this sentence had been a snake youd have bitten it.
this sentence went to jail with Clifford Irving.
this sentence went to Woodstock.
and this little sentence went wee wee wee all the way home.





james and i being james and i and doing what james and i do... touch each other... alot.


pat, me and shane saki bombing.


sam beam (the lead singer of Iron and Wine) and i.
yep yep. i defn passed out at that concert.

butterfly in the sky, i can fly twice as high...

MY BOOBS ARE TOO SMALL!

,you say you understand but you dont understand.

But you've got too much to wear on your sleeves

it has too much to do with me

and secretly I want to bury in the yard

the grey remains of a friendship scarred.



oh yeah and:

you dont have to act crazy to do something amazing
you can be just like you should and still do something really good.

hahahhahhaha.

alisonishot138: i got his pants off!
charrrddddd: no way
charrrddddd: congradulations?
charrrddddd: hahha
alisonishot138: hahahaha
alisonishot138: oh man
alisonishot138: he didnt seem to mind
charrrddddd: damn today's a good day first you get to see the arcade fire and then you get into robert's pants
charrrddddd: well obviously he didn't mind he's a guy and you're alison
alisonishot138: hahahaha

i am so done. i am so been there done that.

I wish you would

Come pick me up

Take me out

Fuck me up

Steal my records

Screw all my friends
They're all full of shit
With a smile on your face
And then do it again

I wish you would

When you're walking downtown
Do you wish I was there?
Do you wish it was me?
With the windows clear and the mannequins eyes
Do they all look like mine?

You know you could
I wish you would

I wish you'd make up my bed

So I could make up my mind

Try it for sleeping instead

Maybe you'll rest sometime

I wish I could.










from the Spin article on Elliott Smith...
"and Adderall, a nice way of saying 'speed'".

but seriously dont worry.

On Venus, the atmosphere is so thick that light rays bend as if made of foam rubber. The bending of light is so extraordinary that it causes the horizon to tilt upwards. Thus, if one were standing on Venus one could see the opposite side of the planet by looking directly overhead.








womens collarbones are comparable to mens hipbones.

you know what i really wanna do?
i really wanna ride on one of those swing thingys
with the parachutes that gets pulled behind a motorboat.
maybe this summer.
maybe spring break in mexico.




my mom used to own a pair of lace up red keds. i want them.
i am going to get a blue pair. or maybe black.




the nakedness of woman is the work of God.
excess of sorrow laughs.
excess of joy weeps.
William Blake

(my mother loved him when she studied english in college 40 years ago.)

i think my favorite part about driving around spokane
is going 45 mph southbound on ash around the curves
after garland
and before the safeway on northwest blvd.
yes those are fun.
i also love speeding onto the maple street bridge
northbound at about 55 mph.
these things i like.
i agree ellen, i also like making left turns.

im a sensitive bore.

1. my mom saw my newest tattoo, newest piercing, and largest plug holes in my ears. all she said was "you're an ass alison you know that?! i give you money for clothes and you spend it on alcohol and this crap..." then she hugged me and kissed me and said "i'm glad youre home honey i missed you."

2. spokane is one of the most beautiful places i have ever been, especially at this time of year. i love that there are more pine trees than people in this city.

3. while waiting at the airport i noticed lots of cute boys. and yes i realized i will always have a soft spot in my heart for rugged unshaven hooded sweatshirt and hiking boot wearing boys. its a pacific northwest thing.

4. spokane has the most amazing sunsets, sunrises, and moon rises i have ever seeeeeeeennnn.

you thought of everything but one thing you forgot is youre wrong.

i slept naked last night. yes.



my brother ran into eddie veder in seattle. random.

so in retrospect i probably overreacted.
but there is something important to learn from my overwhelming need to cry last night.

i dont know what it means.
but i think it is very important that i am going home.

in related news im drunk, and i get on the bus, to go to the bart, to go to the airbart, to go to the airport, at 5am tomorrow...

today i

kidnapped james and chad.
and we stole away to the beach.
we watched the sunset and i ran around in the shallow waters of my own narrow psyche.
haha chad thats soooo deeeeep. nope its sylvia plath.
but yes the water was freezing and refreshing and woke me up.
and james just watched me like i was crazy.
and stole like 5 cigarettes today.

dear jesus,

please give all my friends amazing dreams tonight.
because i am in that sort of mood.

love,
alison-claire

dear god,

tonight
james actually wrote something kinda nice on the piano.
take the compliment with a grain of salt,
because you write nice things on the guitar too, but
where are the fruits of your labors?



joanna newsom is amazing. i was a liar when her voice got me upset.
no i wasnt a liar i think i was just cranky that day.
i wanna see her live. i want her to be really pretty.
oh wait she is:


anyway
i have read the right books
to interpret your looks
you were knocking me down
with the palm of your eye



if everyone here is crazy then no one is.
no one is.
but some of us are.

love,
alison-claire

dear shiva, oh destroyer,

in 1986,
in countries comprising the former Soviet Union,
there were more than 2,500 people
well over the age of 100.
in fact,
there were almost 1,500 people
over the age of 120.

love,
alison-claire

i really dont understand why girls feel the need to be so damn competitive.
insecurity is a vicious monster, and being pathetic is so last year.
learn to be happy.



did you know ellen susan adams is an amazing writer? well she is, and here is proof:




the old soul excuse

I am convinced that in our past life
we met in the summer
fell fast and hard into love
fucked long and late
and that when we walked downtown
you'd slip your arm around my waist
with your thumb reaching up under the edge of my shirt
or into the waist of my jeans.


And together we probably died a dark and tragic death
because passion always ends in a passion
which is why you don't seem to want to try us again
now, this life. Now while we're still alive.
Old souls are too proud to go up in flames
on the second try.



Save your breath, save the stamps you never sent,
save your starry stories and shut up about
God I'm so afraid I'll never find anyone like you again.
Save yourself the articulation, and while we're at it,
all the ink of all the drafts of all the poems that
I know you've had in your head all this time,
just waiting to cut loose with hindsight.
Keep your goddamn hugs and hands to yourself.


Tonight I think you're full of shit and
I don't think you should call my house anymore

i might be drun k but at least im not you,

you ignore and iggnore and ignore and ignore.
and its really not wkorking out to well for you.
and as soon as you decide to stop ignroing you let me know.


my favorite ring broke tonight and i think that iws what made me so upset.
why wont you just give me a hug and a kiss and tell me its all going to be ok?
becaus i know it wont be ok, but i want to at least hear that it might,



bye.

ops.
i fucked up my piercing.
you know where i love/live.

1. i am wearing my favorite pair of underwear and no one will get to see them. tear tear.

2. stop holding back.

3. late night like a couple nights ago i was asleep and someone came to my room. and someone tickled my foot and i have no idea who it was. fucking weird.

OMG

IWTHSSB!!!!!

yeah figure that one out fuckers.

you know i hate complainers.
and i hate stupid people.

and then i complain a lot about how i hate stupid people.

so obviously i am hypocritical and maybe i am just the stupid one...

my throat tastes all gummy.

hungover.

ok you know what i really fucking hate?

when someone blows their nose in class, especially if they are sitting near me.

oh my gosh it grosses me out so much.

just grab a goddamn kleenex and stand in the hallway.

i dont want to hear your mucus and slimyness traveling down your nasal passwageway.

kthxbye.


(oh and if there were any doubt in my mind, i am now definitely spending the year abroad next year.)

the only moment we were alone.

did your parents take you on trips every summer when you were little? did you keep going when you got older, even though your two older brothers werent going anymore? i did.

my parents took me to:
california
england
france
hawaii
boston
new york
ohio
michigan
montana
canada
washington DC
italy
switzerland
germany.

i saw:
great lakes
the david
auchwitz
glacier national park
the statue of liberty
poverty
gypsies
the eiffel tower
vietnam monument
pearl harbor
buckingham palace
disneyland
mt. caputo
cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents.

i:
rode horses
swam in salt water
drove a moped
climbed 1000 stairs
got stung by a jellyfish
drank a lot of beer
was jealous of accents
cried
sat in a lot of airplanes.

i am nineteen years old. i talk a lot. i think even more. i am addicted to drugs. i am boring. hi. lets be friends.

ok so you see i have this problem.

boys make me these mix CDs and i listen to them, but i guess i dont pay attention or something i dont know. then i listen to them like a year later and i go "oh shit!".

because you see boys make me these mixes where every song subtly or not is telling me they love me. and i just dont get it. then i blow them off or break their hearts, because i am scared. and then a year later i realize what was really going on and i feel like a stupid bitch.

basically i am a stupid bitch who leaves broken hearts in her wake, but i got my payback, so i wish those boys would just let me back in, because i miss them, and i need them and i care about them.

it's just so sad and pathetic that this has happened more than twice.

tears i am so useless and little.

bitches aint shit but good people.

I AM ASSUMING NOTHING, BUT ALWAYS HOPING FOR SOMETHING.

it's raining it's pouring...


and i am still awake.

i am the textbook clinical definition of a rape victim.
it is kinda boring and i am kinda tired of being this way.
lame-o.



by the way, from now on, my constant mood is "ch-chillin".

hey friend listen up they're playing our song
on the radio, do you have to go?
i really like it, this rock and roll...


basically i miss you.
do you miss me too?

too much vanilla coke.


too many cigarettes.

i did a great powerpoint presentation.
and studied very hard for my psychology exam.
i like adderall. a lot. maybe too much.


MIRAH -- THE GARDEN... LISTEN TO IT NOW!

i bit my tongue. oops!

you know how some people make you so damn sick to your stomache but you cant say anything about it because it will make you look foolish?

well there are too many people that i know like that right now.

and i keep ending up with my foot in my mouth.

i dont want to be that girl you hooked up with saturday night.
i am tired of being that girl you hooked up with.
i am that girl you hooked up with to too many people.

i want to be that girl that excites you.
and makes your heart pound.
and is cute and sweet and interesting and worth it.

and i dont even know who you are.

another important conclusion:
i am very glad that i do not live in spokane, because spokane is only amazingly awesome, great, fantastic and perfect in the summer and middle of winter.

i've ripped the cover of franny and zooey twice. i need to treat my books better.

i saw deerhoof a couple weekends ago. i thought the two opening bands were better.

my brown hair feels overly boring and plain on me. i am not interesting anymore.

i need to chain smoke really bad again.

i dont know if i ever said this, but i got fired from my job. i am very broke. i have spent over $50 the last three weekends in a row. I have a problem. between chris and my dad i owe about $400. nice.

my stomache hurts after i take one bite of food. why is this?

apparently male pheromones have a calming affect on girls.
so if a guy wouldnt mind coming and just sitting around me,
im real stressed out.
thx!

THE MOST IMPORTANT STATEMENT OF MY LIFE.

i am sincerely stupid sometimes.
but at least i am sincere.

why complain when your best friends can do sweet jumps into your pool all summer?


why reminisce when the memory will never capture how loved i felt with ellen on one side and lizzy on the other?


why recruit new bandmates when these four girls are the best youll ever find?

if you tell me one more story about someday...
or about how you dont want to and dont care about anything anymore...


ill lose my appetite and my dinner.

and i wish you still thought i was pretty when you were sober.

and i wish that you would do your homework with me.

and i wish that we were listening to neutral milk hotel, because you like them.

because i like you.