ive realized something.

sometimes people say they miss you, and you know they mean it.

and sometimes people say they miss you, and youre not really paying attention, so you belive them, and then when you reflect on it, you realize that they dont miss you at all, they miss an idea.

but not me.
when i tell someone i miss them, i really and truly miss them. and usually, even if its awkward, i really want to hug them or just touch them because i actually miss them, not the idea of them, and so i have to touch them to fully feel that i have them again.

i didnt get to touch anybody i missed really over the last few holidays, because i dont think they missed me too.

right. so.

x(as in greek letter for christ)mas was awesome.
i went the whole day w.o feeling depressed.
go me!
thats hard for me to do on a day off.

i spent it w. both of steves families,
plus mine, the barriles, and uncle rick.
it was nice.


i got some good stuff.