A couple more for breakfast
A little more for tea
Just to take the edge off


Move along, there's nothing left to see
Just a body, pouring down the street.

blah blah blah.

when something you have loved since before you knew what love was begins to die, you lose those bits of hope and orange peel around your heart that you thought you were clinging on to, but that you now realize matter little if they are there or not.





something i like about my best friend james isaacs:
i can make him download all the stupid GI Joe voice overs and dissect the past three seasons of degrassi with me at 3am when he just wants to sleep because its his birthday, and he'll stay on the phone way longer than he wants to because he knows that when i need him i just need him and he doesnt care.




oh also, i saw three black cats while driving home sometime last week, and since
A. i believe in premonitions
and
B. i have had bad luck with seeing black cats in the past

im hoping there isn't more bad shit coming in my june.

today was my first official day of work at good old zumiez in good old northtown mall.

three interesting tidbits:
1. a mom bought her 12yr old son $60 sunglasses. WHAT THE FUCK?

2. a mom bought her 10yr old son Corona flip floops. WHAT THE FUCK?

3. there was a barnes and noble bag in the backroom, and the book in it was titled "Kama Sutra For Her". i started laughing and turned to my co-worker Lance and said "who went to barnes and noble?" and he said, "me". HAHAHAHAHHAHA AWWWWKWARD MUCH?






"i'm like a balloon, and unless someone is holding on to my string, i just sort of float away."




i need to know if we're still making useless progress...

for some reason i felt the need to go read a couple old short pieces i had written early in the spring, march sometime i guess.


i miss writing, i miss my writing. i miss being inspired, i miss being forced.

i dont want to just sit in spokane all day staring at my journal waiting to be used and me talking myself out of it before my pen has even hit the page.


i have so many great lines that just come to me out of nowhere, and i compose whole letters and poems in my head while trying to fall asleep, but i never write any of them down because what if i try and i fail? what if im not as good as i think? what if this whole thing is a waste and just when i think ive found my one true talent, im wrong.


im tired of being let down. so many things and so many people disappoint me, but i cant let fleeting moments and irrelevant people keep me from enjoying the, for the most part, pure bliss that is my life.



im simultaneously one step ahead and two feet behind you,
i cant ever quite catch up.
and for now i dont think its worth trying,
i dont think youll ever really know me.

no im totally serious.

so tonight, even though there was that random hour long storm, (during which hella trees where blown down all over my neighborhood, sundance is a mess), kali, amy and i decided to rent a movie and go to annies and watch.

i decided i really wanted to see Saw, because even though its a cheesy scary movie, i knew i would still get scared and i LOVE LOVE LOVE getting scared/scary movies. plus amy said it was real good.

so we rent the movie, watch it, i get scared, it ends lamely, and by the time its over we've all laughed so hard that its not really scary anymore. until kali drops me off at my car at panda express and i have to drive home alone in the dark.

but its ok, im chill, im just like whatever, youll be fine, go home go to bed (inner monologue).


but as i pull up to my house there is a giant WOLF/DOG/COYOTE thing running around my front yard street area!!!!!!!!!

i was like ahhhhhh what the fuck, WEREWOLF! i swear to god i knew it was a werewolf, i was like

oh shit, this is it, i knew this shit was real, im gonna die (inner monologue).

so i call my mom, and of course my cell phone isnt getting service to connect to my house phone, which is literally like 10 yards away from where im sitting in my car, while this animal is circling me!

eventually it rings through (fucking northside lack of cell towers) and my mom and sister come out and try to shoo the damn thing away, even though its growling and snarling at them, and like trying to run up at my front door, while im driving around trying to get it to follow me away from the house.

after about 20 minutes of this nonsense, i pull into my driveway and decided to honk my horn a bunch, and it worked, the damn thing ran down the street and i booked it up to my front door and we shut it real fast just as it was running back to the front garden.


oh my god so scary, im totally scared of any animals that arent mine or little, so this damn wolf/coyote bitch scared the shit out of me. there is so much adrenaline pumping through me right now, and i just want to sleep!


basically, fuck Saw, its a bad movie.

i'm clinically bonkers and hate just about everyone god's great earth offers
i won't be getting dressed up to impress your family dear
And if i can't wear jeans and sneakers then i won't be landing there




my obsession with hiphop is getting out of hand.
listen to aesop rockkkkkkkkkk.

"if im going to be partaking in public urination it will be sober." matthew caputo, age 28, in reference to his two little sisters' drinking habits


"i dont think i could ever be attracted to a guy who swooshes all his hair to one side." maddie duvanich, age 18, in reference to every boy at the show last night.


"ewwww dont ever say that word again, i hate the word pounded." melanie haux, age 20, in reference to my debauchery.



that basically sums up my weekend. i have the funniest friends / family.

i know how to wear the costume, i know how to wear the mask, im not a junkie for your love

There are angels in your angles
There's a low moon caught in your tangles

i feel like crap ughhh, my whole body feels like i just got shit on all over the place, which is oddly enough not too far from the truth, ha.

no more keg beer for alison, unless its PBR. and also i could barely walk yesterday, but i thought it had gone away, then i woke up this morning and im still having trouble walking, oh wow.


my favorite part in before sunrise is the drunk guy smoking a cigarette who writes them the milkshake poem. thats totally gonna be me.







oh and happy fathers day pops, hope youre partying it up in Greece!


And darling, we go a-drowning
Down we go away

tonight was pretty out of hand, so i did what any self-respecting twenty year old girl would do.

i pulled over into salk's parking lot and ran through the sprinklers by myself still half drunk.

you wouldnt be able to do that would you?





And I claim I'm not excited with my life any more

So I blame this town, this job, these friends
The truth is it's myself

And I'm trying to understand myself
And pinpoint where I am

By the time I get things figured out
I've change the whole damn plan...