exactly.

Here's the story. There is nothing you could possibly ever say that I could possibly ever care about. You're not appealing to me in the least. I don't want to chat with you online. I don't want to add you as my friend. I don't want to see if I can get your band a show in my town on either March 24th or 25th. I don't want to come to your reception at Hipster Coffee Shop with Two-Buck Chuck and DJ WhiteKidWhoGotDecksForChristmas spinning totally ironically '90s hip-hop songs to look at shit that you traced out of an old Juxtapoz. You are not part of a movement. Your art fucking sucks.

Your blog is also a real piece of shit. No one cares about what you have to say. Period. Just because you a read a Dave Eggers book doesn't mean your life is worth fucking documenting. He probably made most of that shit up and it still wasn't even that great. Your life is not tragic. It's not exciting. It's just ordinary and pathetic. No one wants to read about it, and especially not have not have to look at pictures of it. Your friends all look like assholes in vintage/mo/emo/indie eBAY clothes and your girlfriend is the most pathetic of them all. Sorry if you think she's totally the hottest girl in your little scene of trendy dive bar scumfucks...


I don't want you to ever fucking instant message me, trying to be super down with whatever it was I said to you one time. I was just trying to be cool because you bought me a beer. Then I had to listen to your lame ideas for the next half an hour waiting around for you to beat it. The sound of your voice is super annoying to me. Having to smell you standing next to me makes me want to throw up all over the place. I don't even like having to look at you from across the room or even seeing you out of a window, walking down the street.