i am so done. i am so been there done that.

I wish you would

Come pick me up

Take me out

Fuck me up

Steal my records

Screw all my friends
They're all full of shit
With a smile on your face
And then do it again

I wish you would

When you're walking downtown
Do you wish I was there?
Do you wish it was me?
With the windows clear and the mannequins eyes
Do they all look like mine?

You know you could
I wish you would

I wish you'd make up my bed

So I could make up my mind

Try it for sleeping instead

Maybe you'll rest sometime

I wish I could.










from the Spin article on Elliott Smith...
"and Adderall, a nice way of saying 'speed'".

but seriously dont worry.

On Venus, the atmosphere is so thick that light rays bend as if made of foam rubber. The bending of light is so extraordinary that it causes the horizon to tilt upwards. Thus, if one were standing on Venus one could see the opposite side of the planet by looking directly overhead.








womens collarbones are comparable to mens hipbones.

you know what i really wanna do?
i really wanna ride on one of those swing thingys
with the parachutes that gets pulled behind a motorboat.
maybe this summer.
maybe spring break in mexico.




my mom used to own a pair of lace up red keds. i want them.
i am going to get a blue pair. or maybe black.




the nakedness of woman is the work of God.
excess of sorrow laughs.
excess of joy weeps.
William Blake

(my mother loved him when she studied english in college 40 years ago.)

i think my favorite part about driving around spokane
is going 45 mph southbound on ash around the curves
after garland
and before the safeway on northwest blvd.
yes those are fun.
i also love speeding onto the maple street bridge
northbound at about 55 mph.
these things i like.
i agree ellen, i also like making left turns.

im a sensitive bore.

1. my mom saw my newest tattoo, newest piercing, and largest plug holes in my ears. all she said was "you're an ass alison you know that?! i give you money for clothes and you spend it on alcohol and this crap..." then she hugged me and kissed me and said "i'm glad youre home honey i missed you."

2. spokane is one of the most beautiful places i have ever been, especially at this time of year. i love that there are more pine trees than people in this city.

3. while waiting at the airport i noticed lots of cute boys. and yes i realized i will always have a soft spot in my heart for rugged unshaven hooded sweatshirt and hiking boot wearing boys. its a pacific northwest thing.

4. spokane has the most amazing sunsets, sunrises, and moon rises i have ever seeeeeeeennnn.

you thought of everything but one thing you forgot is youre wrong.

i slept naked last night. yes.



my brother ran into eddie veder in seattle. random.

so in retrospect i probably overreacted.
but there is something important to learn from my overwhelming need to cry last night.

i dont know what it means.
but i think it is very important that i am going home.

in related news im drunk, and i get on the bus, to go to the bart, to go to the airbart, to go to the airport, at 5am tomorrow...

today i

kidnapped james and chad.
and we stole away to the beach.
we watched the sunset and i ran around in the shallow waters of my own narrow psyche.
haha chad thats soooo deeeeep. nope its sylvia plath.
but yes the water was freezing and refreshing and woke me up.
and james just watched me like i was crazy.
and stole like 5 cigarettes today.

dear jesus,

please give all my friends amazing dreams tonight.
because i am in that sort of mood.

love,
alison-claire

dear god,

tonight
james actually wrote something kinda nice on the piano.
take the compliment with a grain of salt,
because you write nice things on the guitar too, but
where are the fruits of your labors?



joanna newsom is amazing. i was a liar when her voice got me upset.
no i wasnt a liar i think i was just cranky that day.
i wanna see her live. i want her to be really pretty.
oh wait she is:


anyway
i have read the right books
to interpret your looks
you were knocking me down
with the palm of your eye



if everyone here is crazy then no one is.
no one is.
but some of us are.

love,
alison-claire

dear shiva, oh destroyer,

in 1986,
in countries comprising the former Soviet Union,
there were more than 2,500 people
well over the age of 100.
in fact,
there were almost 1,500 people
over the age of 120.

love,
alison-claire

i really dont understand why girls feel the need to be so damn competitive.
insecurity is a vicious monster, and being pathetic is so last year.
learn to be happy.



did you know ellen susan adams is an amazing writer? well she is, and here is proof:




the old soul excuse

I am convinced that in our past life
we met in the summer
fell fast and hard into love
fucked long and late
and that when we walked downtown
you'd slip your arm around my waist
with your thumb reaching up under the edge of my shirt
or into the waist of my jeans.


And together we probably died a dark and tragic death
because passion always ends in a passion
which is why you don't seem to want to try us again
now, this life. Now while we're still alive.
Old souls are too proud to go up in flames
on the second try.



Save your breath, save the stamps you never sent,
save your starry stories and shut up about
God I'm so afraid I'll never find anyone like you again.
Save yourself the articulation, and while we're at it,
all the ink of all the drafts of all the poems that
I know you've had in your head all this time,
just waiting to cut loose with hindsight.
Keep your goddamn hugs and hands to yourself.


Tonight I think you're full of shit and
I don't think you should call my house anymore

i might be drun k but at least im not you,

you ignore and iggnore and ignore and ignore.
and its really not wkorking out to well for you.
and as soon as you decide to stop ignroing you let me know.


my favorite ring broke tonight and i think that iws what made me so upset.
why wont you just give me a hug and a kiss and tell me its all going to be ok?
becaus i know it wont be ok, but i want to at least hear that it might,



bye.

ops.
i fucked up my piercing.
you know where i love/live.

1. i am wearing my favorite pair of underwear and no one will get to see them. tear tear.

2. stop holding back.

3. late night like a couple nights ago i was asleep and someone came to my room. and someone tickled my foot and i have no idea who it was. fucking weird.

OMG

IWTHSSB!!!!!

yeah figure that one out fuckers.

you know i hate complainers.
and i hate stupid people.

and then i complain a lot about how i hate stupid people.

so obviously i am hypocritical and maybe i am just the stupid one...

my throat tastes all gummy.

hungover.

ok you know what i really fucking hate?

when someone blows their nose in class, especially if they are sitting near me.

oh my gosh it grosses me out so much.

just grab a goddamn kleenex and stand in the hallway.

i dont want to hear your mucus and slimyness traveling down your nasal passwageway.

kthxbye.


(oh and if there were any doubt in my mind, i am now definitely spending the year abroad next year.)