ok so see theres

trying too hard vs. not trying hard enough.


my days have been occupied for months now
with the same old same old.


i need something.someone.somewhere newnewnew!

its ok if its here, in this town.

but everyday,
starbucks, shows, bars, puppysitting,
ondemand, lunchwithbubba, homedecor,
sittingatshannas, smokingbowls, takingmeds,
today will be like yesterday like tomorrow is like last week.


i was supposed to be going back to school in the winter/spring,
to get my teaching credentials,
but between hospital visits and snowfuck'08
thats all been put on hold.

so, do i move instead?
portlandia in the summer?
one bedroom in brownes in the spring and suck it up
in (boringashell) spokane for another yearish?


do i stay ? do i go ?


i just need different opinions,
ideas, thoughts, from someones who i havent
already known for the last three years,
or someones who havent known everyone i know
for the last three years.

i need to make friends with people
that are actually DOING things with their lives
and are also not content doing these things here.



i am never satisfied.

i am always content with what i have,
but never with what i am doing/have done.













yes,
every report card said
"alison is not living up to her full potential.
she takes on too much at once,
successfully completing just what is necessary for the A grade,
without ever giving any real attention to anything."

oh starfucker.

id like to jump on your bandwagon.