cuz youre just damage control.

i find that i often get myself into trouble just for knowing who i am.

i trust myself, i love myself, and i believe in myself, and quite frankly i know what i am worth, and i am not going to dumb myself down or sit quietly in a corner for anyone.


when they say the only thing constant is change i think they must have been specifically referring to my life.


the whirlwind that is always happening in my world is something that i have had to adapt to and get used to and same with every person who enters into my life. and i cannot (in fact i flat out refuse) to apologize for that. im absolutely crazy, and so is my life and thats just the way it is. its not my fault. so you take it or you leave it.

the last year has been a process. its been a complete growth cycle. id say ive never acted more my age than i do now. ive never been more sure of myself, and more willing to make mistakes and take the fall for them. ive never been more willing to admit when im wrong, or apologize, or be honest better me.

ive had to cut out so much, so many people, places, things. there are six people that make up my entire life. my parents, my sister, bubba, shanna and berret. my entire world revolves around loving them, working, and taking care of myself. honestly.

and im really lucky to have some other super cool super supportive super loving friends right now. i weeded out all those bad seeds and am left with people who truly care about me.

and it feels amazing. things are amazing. things are always amazing, but i have an appreciative soul, so thats probably why im normally always happy.


and i am refusing now to ever let things get as bad as they were. im building up for the rest of my life and nothing is going to hold me back. not my crohns, not my ptsd, and never again a single person making me feel like i should be taking care of their life and their goals before mine.



i may have all the answers to my questions in myself but i need some catalyst to get them into my consciousness.