its about time.

sometimes i think we are not grateful enough for all the amazing things that happen in our lives.

i dont think that i often fall into the trap of thinking that i deserve anything, in fact, i think its quite the opposite where i am always overly thankful for my life.

however, ive been so incredibly happy lately, and i just cant tell people enough how much i love them, how important they are to me, and how incredibly lucky i am to know them.


so i just thought it was time to put this down.
because sometimes i still have bad days (like everyone), and sometimes i still cry when im driving home alone drunk (like everyone), and sometimes i think that ill always be just a little bit fucked up (unlike everyone).
but hopefully, i can come back and read this and remind myself that i have it good.
im definitely living the good life.


american beauty has been in my top 5 favorite movies since i first saw it when it came out, and i think kevin spaceys character sums it up best at the end:


"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me...
but it's hard to stay mad,
when there's so much beauty in the world.
Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once,
and it's too much,
my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...
And then I remember to relax,
and stop trying to hold on to it,
and then it flows through me like rain
and I can't feel anything but gratitude
for every single moment of my stupid little life..."


so anyway, ive been getting teary eyed out of happiness a lot lately, and ive been looking at my friends and feeling like my hearts gonna burst cuz i really really love them, and i know that the people who have had the chance to know me know that their lives have been better off with me in them because they know that i have way too much love to give, and that its all i really wanna do.


i dont know, i just really like the fall, and im actually happy to be spending it in spokane again, this town is beautiful this time of year, and i just think that people need to recognize and accept the awesomeness that is life ok?!